A Parenting Mistake

I fell off my bike again.  Gravel embeds my knee, and there’s a 3-inch scrape on my arm.  Tears run down my seven-year-old face.  It’s hard to breathe.  I right my bike and push out the kickstand.  I hike up the driveway to notify my parents, crying extra loudly so they know I am coming.

My mom is all business.  She sits me on the toilet while she cleans out the wound with a washcloth. The scars on her legs show that she’s been here before.  She understands bicycle accidents and falling out of trees you’ve climbed.  She knows what’s good for me.

I trust this has to be done, so I calm down and grit my teeth.  All is going well until she reaches for the green metal first aid box. I start to fidget again. A whimper escapes my lips. I have had seven years of experience.  I know what’s coming next.  It’s that red, fire-burning Merthiolate.  

“No! No! No! Not That!” I challenge.  “The neighbor kids, April and Kathy, get to use Mercurochrome.  It’s still red.  It still works, and it doesn’t burn.”  I bring this up for the 100th time with my mom.  

“It doesn’t work as well,” she says. “I’ve done the research.  This is the good stuff! It will kill all the bacteria, and you won’t get an infection.”

I am not sure what an infection is, but it sounds bad. I have never had one, so the stuff must work, right?  

First Aid

As the little red stick of dynamite touches the wound, tears spill over my eyelids.  It’s not fair!  Merthiolate and Mercurochrome look the same!  All the neighbor kids have red stripes on their arms and legs, but mine are earned at a higher price than they will ever understand.  

“Blow! Blow! Blow!” My mom says, and she fans my leg with her hand.  Now it’s time for your arm…”

It’s at that moment in time, I swear that if I ever have children, they are getting Bactine, even if it isn’t as good as Merthiolate, because it doesn’t flame like this.  Nothing burns like this gasoline!

Poison

Do you know that I was today’s years old when I learned that Merthiolate was 49.55% mercury? Back then, my parents believed anything that scorched like that had to be good, because it was killing the bacteria. Meanwhile, my mother was unknowingly poisoning me. 

Mercurochrome was almost as bad at 24%-27% Mercury.  Both Merthiolate and Mercurochrome were banned in the late 1990s due to possible mercury poisoning.  I felt justified that I had been right all along.  Bactine was better!

Doubts

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual.  Instead, we are presented with a myriad of choices. Some decisions we’re proud of, others we question.  When I think about parenting my boys, I want to believe I’ve done a good job. But late at night, when I am tossing and turning in bed, I worry and doubt. 

I kept my seven-year-old promise and used Bactine.  But was that the right choice?  Did I make things too easy for my children?  Did I shelter them from pain, too much?  Did I coddle too much? Was I too lenient? Or too strict?  When we look at the past, there are always things we regret or wish we could change. My only solution is to reach out to God, who can make things right.

Even though my children are now adults, you can still find me on my knees when all is quiet.  Late at night, when worries and doubts whisper like snowflakes and pile up in drifts, I shovel my concerns and toss them to the LORD.   He listens.  When that glob of anxiety fills my throat and knots my stomach, He reassures me that He’s still got us all in His hands and will make good on His promises. 

True Antiseptic

Thankfully, I can trust that when our heavenly Father administers the antiseptic, He knows just the right kind and the right amount.  He will never make a mistake and give us something that is not good, or might poison, because He is a good God and promises to work all things together for our benefit (Romans 8:28). 

His guidance, unlike mine, is always perfect.  He notices the infections we as parents sometimes miss and binds the wounds we may never see.  Where I was too lenient, He can strengthen.  Where I was too strict, He can soften.  Where I fell short, He can fill in the gaps.

Parents will make mistakes, but we love our kids and make every effort to do the right thing.  As 1 Peter 4:8 reminds us, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins” (NLT).  My parents loved me and did their best. Now I am passing on the love and praying for my children’s best.  I find comfort in knowing that even if our love for each other isn’t perfect, it is real.  So I continue to love and pray.  I trust that God is still at work in my life as well as theirs: healing what I miss, guiding what I can’t control, and redeeming what I get wrong with His perfect first aid.