Doing Christmas “Right”

Is there a “right way” and a “wrong way” to do Christmas?  I would argue that there is, but it wasn’t what I originally thought.

Beginning Ideas About Christmas Traditions

From the day I first moved out on my own, I felt inner pressure to do Christmas the “right” way.  I first looked to my parents for inspiration and tried to copy their Christmas traditions.  Immediately, extra stress and conflict churned within.  You see, my mom likes to bake, while I cook out of necessity.  In addition, my mom loves to decorate every nook and cranny of the house, while my family prefers to keep embellishments simple.  By not enjoying the things that my mom and dad enjoyed, I felt I was doing Christmas “wrong”.  

Next, I observed how my friends celebrated Christmas, and I tried to do it all. Their traditions included the following: gingerbread house design, caroling, collecting recipes for cookbooks, church services, a birthday cake for Jesus, stockings, elf on a shelf, Christmas concerts, cookie exchanges, a trip to see the Christmas lights, etc… As a result, I spent many of my adult Christmases stressed out and miserable. It isn’t that any of these traditions are “wrong” or not enjoyable. It is just that I couldn’t do them all, every Christmas. In fact, one Christmas, I almost had a nervous breakdown. By trying to do Christmas the “right way”, I got lost in the process. I was so busy, that I could not meditate on the true meaning of Christmas.

A few years ago, I realized that I had to find my own path and establish my own simplified traditions. But which of these wonderful practices should I keep? And which should I throw out? I still wanted Christmas to be a special time for my family. I still wanted to do it “right”. So finally, I asked my family what holiday activities were most important to them and was surprised by the answers.

Watching Football:

Watching football was never on my original list, but I realized that it is a true holiday tradition once my family brought up the subject.  Every year, we kick off the season by celebrating the first date I ever had with my husband. 30+ years ago, he hosted a football watch party on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, where Notre Dame played USC (and won!). We are both Norte Dame fans and the tradition of watching college football which started that day has continued.

Each fall, college football begins, carries us through December, and culminates with bowl games in January. Between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, we print off a list of bowl games and try to guess the winners.  We always invite friends over to watch with us, and there is food, laughter, and celebration.  Watching college football is embedded into our family culture.

The Christmas Story:

Another favorite family tradition was our Church’s Christmas service where we read scriptures about the birth of Christ and sang Christmas carols.  We all enjoyed this special observance so much that I created a version to do at home.  You can access it here:  “The Birth of Christ”.

Christmas Movies

Our family also enjoys seeing Christmas movies together.  We watch “While you were Sleeping”, every year.  We have viewed it so many times that we have almost the entire movie memorized. All year long, we quote its lines in pertinent situations, laugh, and remember the movie. In addition, we rotate between some of the classics like “It’s a Wonderful Life”, “I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown,” and “The Nativity”.  The favorite Christmas movie on the list that surprises me most is, “Happy Gilmore.”  I can’t remember right now why my family considers it a Christmas movie, but they do.  Immediately following, we add “Murder Mystery” to make it a double feature. (They must be viewed back to back for their full effect.)  Newer additions to the list include “Daddy’s Home 2” and “Elf”.

Christmas Cards:

Another tradition I love is the display of Christmas cards.  We only hand out Christmas cards every few years.  (One year they turned into Valentine’s Day Cards.)   But even though we don’t always send cards, I sure love receiving them.  I especially enjoy the ones with pictures, and I hang them up with tiny clothespins on a ribbon that drapes from the ceiling so I can view them all season long.

Decorations:

These days, I decorate according to my mood.  For a while, my pendulum swung from stressful to “as easy as possible”.  During those years, I set up a lighted palm tree each Christmas. 

However, after asking my children about family traditions, I discovered the palm tree was not a hit with the kids.  So we have gone back to a traditional Christmas tree with white lights. Some years, there is more decor than others but the essentials include three nativities and a more traditional Christmas tree with white lights.

Christmas Eve

We always go to my mom and dad’s house on Christmas Eve.  This is everyone’s favorite Christmas tradition.  We eat together and open presents from the grandparents.  On Christmas Day we open presents with just the immediate family. Then on Christmas night, my parents come to our home for dinner.

New Year’s Eve

Almost every year, we throw a New Year’s Eve and/or New Year’s Day party.  We watch football, share Hors d’oeuvres, play games, and kick off the New Year with people we love.

Necessities

Fast forward through the years and I have ultimately discovered what’s most important to me: spending time with family and friends. So bring on the get-togethers and quality time! I will host the party. And if your Christmas tradition is baking, I will probably ask you to bring the cookies (smiles).

What I Learned

Sometimes we get so caught up in Christmas traditions, that we lose track of what’s most important to us and our families.  I know I did.  So this year, I plan to remember the birth of Christ with joy and reach out to others in love.  If we include these two ingredients, we will do Christmas the “right” way.  We can’t go wrong!  

I challenge you to ask your family members what is most important to them and share some of your Christmas tradition essentials in the comment section below.