While scrolling through Facebook, I read a heartfelt and emotional post from a family member overburdened and asking for prayer. In response, a well-meaning friend answered, “God will never give you more than you can handle.” This saying was supposed to be a comfort, but it can actually be quite upsetting.
Panic
What if I can’t handle it? What if I feel overwhelmed? And buried? And I can barely make myself get out of bed? What then? Am I a total failure? No, I am human.
Sometimes I am in over my head! And my friends who are honest will tell you that they are too. We constantly face problems we can’t solve on our own. And we need comfort that can’t be found in the world’s system. God sometimes gives us more than we can handle, because that’s when we get on our knees and pray.
The True Answer
You see, God wants us to have a relationship with Him. In fact, He sent his only son, Jesus, just so we can be made right with God. All we need to do is repent of our sins and believe in the substitutionary life and death of Christ. God says he will count the righteousness of Jesus to our sinful and deficient accounts. (2 Corinthians 5:21). Once that is done, we can trust God in all circumstances (Proverbs 3:5-6). God is always faithful. It’s like forming an irrevocable trust. He will not modify, amend or terminate the terms.
The Example of Job
I am currently reading the Book of Job. In this Biblical story, Job loses everything. His seven sons and three daughters die in a windstorm. Raiders steal all of his possessions, and his wife rejects him. But the story doesn’t end there. Next, Job’s health is stripped from him. Boils break out all over his body. In order to get relief, he sits in ashes and scrapes the open sores with a piece of broken pottery. I can’t even imagine the pain and suffering that this man of God was going through.
Three friends come to comfort him. Thankfully, no one says, “God will never give you more than you can handle.” Instead, they sit beside him for seven days and no one speaks because, “his suffering was too great for words (Job 2:13 NLT)”.
Job is in so much misery, that when he finally does talk a week later, he curses the day he was ever born. Job is officially in over his head. This is more than he can endure on his own. So he looks to his friends and then ultimately to God for answers.
Platitudes
What do his friends do? They give him bad advice. Just like we sometimes do. But God remains faithful and answers Job.
We can learn a lesson from this situation. Although we can definitely bring comfort to others in pain with our very presence, we need to be careful about what we say to them. Sometimes we talk to people in clichés that don’t help the situation.
- It’s all for the best.
- Just be thankful it’s not worse.
- What doesn’t break you, makes you stronger.
- God is testing your faith.
- Rejoice in the Lord always.
These phrases may have a hint of truth in them, but they are not appropriate when someone is suffering. Often it’s best to stay quiet, listen, and pray.
Not in the Bible
You might be surprised to learn that the phrase, “God will never give you more than you can handle,” is not even in the Bible. The closest verse I can find is 1 Corinthians 10:13 where the apostle Paul really says, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure (NLT).”
This verse is not talking about our personal problems or circumstances. Instead it explains that we are all tempted to sin, but God is faithful. He will help us stay the course and not give in to wrongdoing. This is a different idea, entirely.
More on the Apostle Paul
When it comes to Paul’s actual take on the concept of not getting more than you can handle, he identifies with Job and with us. In his second letter to the Corinthians, he tells the story about problems he faced in Asia. “We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it (2 Corinthians 1:8 NLT)”. This definitely sounds like he was facing more than he could deal with on his own. He even expected the situation to kill him.
His solution was to pray and ask God about it. He states, “We stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead (2 Corinthians 1:9 NLT)”. Like Paul, we can place our hope and confidence in God who can certainly help us even when we feel defeated and powerless.
God Offers Comfort to the Christian
Ultimately, trouble and trial should bring us closer to God. When Job is overwhelmed by his situation, he questions God, and God answers. Eventually, Job states, “I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes (Job 42:5 NLT).” In the end, Job is blessed and comforted.
The apostle Paul uses his unfortunate circumstances to encourage other believers. Paul points out that God comforts us so that we, in turn, can support others.
The stories of Job and Paul show that we are not called to manage everything on our own. God sometimes does allow us to be buried under unfortunate circumstances beyond our control. Regardless of our situations, we should continually look to God for the ultimate answers, because God can take care of anything. He promises to listen to our prayers (Psalm 102:17) and see us through until the end (Philippians 1:6).
After Christmas 2020 I was sent pictures of two children belonging to my niece. Both were absolutely adorable. So happy to see them smiling and well. In January, however, I got a call and e-mail from my brother that told me the precious little girl had strangled herself while attempting to get out of her car seat by herself. The title to the e-mail was, “Terrible News!”
There were no words, no scriptures that, though completely true, would bring comfort to my niece with such a tragedy. My heart was broken for her, for her little girl, for my brother, for the other child in the family. There were no words I could find. After much prayer I did write to her saying that my heart ached for her and that I would have loved to just hold her and allow her to cry. However, since I could not be with her that I was praying that God would hold her and let her cry in His arms.
Yes, God is good all the time, even when bad things happen. However, when challenging life circumstances barrel into our lives without warning, it is not the time to say to those experiencing tragedy, “God is Good.”
I love the account of Joseph…He had many disappointments. After running from sin, he ends up in jail. Then the Bible states, “But God was with Joseph.” Each time Joseph’s life appeared to take a turn for the worse, those words are found in the Bible…”But God was with Joseph. All I could say was that our God is the GOD OF ALL COMFORT and HE IS WITH US. Hard times are when we come to our Father, climb up into his lap, rest our head upon His shoulder, He puts His arms around is and we weep uncontrollably…AND HE FULLY UNDERSTANDS AND COMFORTS US.
When enough time has passed, and each person and circumstance is different, we, like Jacob, JOURNEYED ON. After mourning the death of his wife, Joseph’s and Benjamin’s mother, the Bible tells us that Jacob journeyed on. If I may take the liberty, I’d like to add the words that were said about Joseph:
“Jacob journeyed on, but God was with Jacob.”
My prayer for my niece is that she would find comfort in His arms and, having had such an encounter with God, she would, for the rest of her life, journey on with Him. I had few words to say to my niece,,,but I had many prayers to pray for her.
Such a tragedy! This is one of those times when the suffering truly is to great for words. I can only sit in silence with tears. I pray that God will comfort your niece and her family.